Thursday, January 23, 2014

How Is America Screwing Over Parents And Their Newborns?

In a lot of ways apparently. Because the whole system is fucked. There is no simple fix to make the first couple years of a newborn's life ideal for the parents or for the infant (unless you are incredibly rich). There is a large difference between what a child needs in his or her first few years of life and what parents have access to as American citizens. Quality childhood development seems to correlate positively with access to wealth. Socioeconomic status has almost everything to do with how well American children will develop, learn, and acquire new skills. Other countries have found ways to better equip all parents with the information and resources that they need in order to be successful, but the United States is making it difficult for many parents to encourage healthy development.

The problems begin where I left off last week, with a necessity for our children to be independent from the get-go. Infants have no concept of independence, nor do they have a sense of entitlement. Infants need constant care from at least one person so that they can form a secure attachment. Our readings discussed in great detail the importance of healthy attachments between infant and adult. Parents need to teach their newborn that when they have a need, it will be addressed; when they cry, someone will be there for them. But the idea of "appeasing" a child when they cry conflicts terribly with our American ideal of independence. Many parents are led to believe that their child just needs to "cry it out" and that they will be better for it in the long run because their child won't grow up to be a "cry baby." While this belief has proved to be false, Americans still value independence and individualism and many parents remain in ignorance of appropriate ways to care for their child.

The next problem is two-fold: American parents are rarely given any reasonable amount of paid maternity- or paternity-leave and therefore must resort to finding a daycare for their child. Not only does work keep many American parents from bonding with their newborn, but there is an entire spectrum of daycare options to choose from, and the phrase "you get what you pay for" has never been truer. Parents who make enough money can at least afford to send their child to a quality daycare center with reliable and consistent employees where there may be the potential for their child to establish a secure attachment with one of his or her caretakers. Alternatively, parents who are less well off may send their child to a more affordable daycare where there is a higher turnover rate of caretakers. This variety in care providers will make it even more difficult for the infant to form a secure attachment.

If the child is not able to make a healthy attachment to at least one adult within the first two years of his or her life, they will instead form insecure attachments which can lead to anything from minor insecurities to the potential for violent behavior. Most at-risk, American youth formed insecure attachments as babies; these unhealthy attachments have been linked to ADHD, insecurity, addiction, violent behavior, and lack of empathy. In many ways, even parents with the best intentions may still be putting their children at risk for unstable behavior in the future.

So, what do we need to change? We need at least a full year of paid maternity-leave available to new mothers. We need quality daycare centers with long-term, well-paid employees who can create healthy attachments with their children. And we need to ignore our American obsession with independence and recognize that when an infant cries, it is because they legitimately need something.

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